We're not just writers, editors and designers here at STACK; first and foremost, we're athletes who just happen to be gifted with the power of the pen.

Over the weekend, three members of the STACK Team went full force as they took a break from writing about sports training and decided to jump into an actual competition.

The day’s competitive activities started early for one certain STACK employee. Although there was an early morning shower on Saturday, this STACK writer had already left his house to compete in a soccer match. Unfortunately, he didn’t receive the memo that people usually don’t come to a pick-up game of soccer when it’s raining out, and he ended up wasting his time driving a half-hour to the soccer fields.

Luckily, he was not alone in the failed soccer endeavor and was instead able to work on some set pieces with the help of his future bro-in-law. The STACK writer was able to get a quick workout running around and scoring in an empty net but this, however, was just a warm-up for the main event of the day: the race.

Though I am not much of a runner, I thought I would give it a shot and enter a race for the first time in exactly two years [my last race was a 5K for my high school alma mater], and this time the race was a bit longer than what I am used to. To some, like my one opponent from work, Ms. Sarah Gearhart, four miles is a warm-up. To others, like my other work opponent, Mrs. Rachel Trem, four miles is a typical workout. To me, four miles is, well, four miles, which is a lot easier to mentally break down into quarters of a football game, which I normally do whenever I run [but the odd number of a 5k makes that too difficult to do]. Either way, I was a runner who was outclassed by my opponents but that would not hold me back from competing.

As the race was about to begin, I noticed that there were a lot of serious runners ready to compete. I couldn’t tell you how many sports bras, short shorts and iPod armbands I saw, and of course, there were a few shirtless guys trying to show off even though it was relatively cool out [if you’re reading this, you know who you are]. But even though I had none of the above on me, and Ms. Gearhart and Mrs. Trem started in front of me, all decked out in their running gear, I had a secret weapon on my feet.

No, they weren’t Acme-made roller skates with rockets on the sides. I’ve seen way too many Wile E. Coyote cartoons to know the outcome of that great idea. I was going to be running the event practically barefoot. Technically I had shoes on, but I was rocking a pair of Vibram FiveFingers KSO shoes that are designed to simulate running barefoot.

As many of my opponents looked down, wondering what I was wearing, I was looking straight ahead to see who I would be passing up next. By the end of the race everyone knew what company made the shoes as they all saw the label on the bottom of the sole when I passed them. As I came to the third mile marker, I suddenly noticed that I was all alone and had so much of a lead that I finished the race running backwards. While I was being hoisted up after breaking the course record, I realized one important thing: the race hadn’t even started yet and it was all in my head. 

I wish I could say I finished in the top 10, even in the top 50, but at least I finished. As I ran alongside my fiancée [who will remain nameless; she does have red hair, though, so that drops about 96 percent of the world’s population], trying to make her laugh and not pay attention to all the people passing us up, I realized that the race was no longer a competition, just 33 minutes and 30 seconds of fun [yup, that’s my time; my fiancée finished a little bit after me. I had to leave her when I saw a couple pass us up while pushing their twins in a stroller].

And although Ms. Gearhart finished in the top 10 of her age group and Mrs. Trem outran me only seven months after having a baby, I felt like I was the true winner of the race.

I was the only one to run with bare feet, so I won that category. I made my fiancée almost fall down laughing as I sang out loud to her because we both didn’t sport iPods and were trying to pass the time, so I’m obviously the funniest competitor. And, I was covered in more sweat than the two ladies combined so I feel like I got the better workout. 

Running may not be my thing, and I would rather be on a pitch than pavement, but at least I finally got to field-test my FiveFinger shoes and will be able to give a full analysis of my experience working out in the shoes in one of our soon-to-be released web exclusive articles.

Keep your eyes open for the shoe review, and if the ladies in the office want a rematch, next time I get to choose the sport. 

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