I was on the red carpet in Cleveland, Ohio…yes, you heard correctly, Cleveland. These kinds of events don’t happen often on the shores of Lake Erie, but it’s a special affair. Could there be a better place to host a “Welcome to Cleveland” party for Shaquille O’ Neal—the Big Aristotle—that’s scheduled to wrap up at 2:30 a.m. on the eve of the first day of training camp?

The stars of Cleveland were in attendance, and so was STACK. Here’s the official running timeline of the red carpet events, hosted at the Barley House in Cleveland’s warehouse district.

9:04 p.m. – Timing plays a big factor in gymnastics, so it’s only fitting that former U.S. Olympian Dominique Moceanu arrived as the first guest of the night. The gold-medalist smiled for the cameras, talked to the folks from Fashion Network TV and worked the red carpet as elegantly as she once did the balance beam.

9:11 p.m. – The crowd roared for former Cleveland Browns QB Bernie Kosar, a local hero who led the Browns to their last winning season (or so it feels). Bernie sported a subtle plaid sports coat, light-blue dad jeans, and a pair of not-so-white, white tennis shoes.

“How’s the arm, Bernie?” one fan shouted. When asked about Shaq, Bernie said, “I know he’d be good in the red zone.”

9:23 p.m. – “Mr. Cavalier” Austin Carr looked sharp on the red carpet. “How you doing, young man?” one fellow member of the press asked. “Feeling younger every day,” A.C. said.

“Get that weak stuff outta here” is Carr’s go-to phrase after every blocked shot by a Cavalier. And there’s going to be nothing weak about having Shaq in the fold.

9:38 p.m. – LeBron may be Northeast Ohio’s number one hometown hero, but WBC and WBO middleweight champion Kelly Pavlik is definitely a contender for that title. The Youngstown native is about as real and down-to-earth as it gets, especially in the world of professional boxing.

“The Ghost” recently announced a December bout against former two-time welterweight champ Paul Williams. Dressed in a black leather coat, Affliction t-shirt and dark blue jeans, Pavlik chatted with me about his training for the upcoming match. Be on the lookout for videos on STACK TV as the fight draws near.

9:43 p.m.  – Right on the heels of probably the baddest man at the party was Mrs. Ohio, who wore a shimmering, short red dress that sparkled against the flashing lights of the cameras. I don’t know what she was doing there, but she looked good doing it. I’m going to go out on a limb and say this wasn’t her first red carpet event.

9:55 p.m.  – A female fan posted up near the red carpet with a life-sized cardboard cutout of Shaq from his Orlando Magic days. Gotta give her props for having the best one at the event.

10:07 p.m.   – A white, stretch Hummer limo pulled up and a tribe of Cleveland Indian filed out. “Here are the only guys in town that can beat a team from Baltimore,” snickered a member of the press. It was a young group of guys, mostly prospects who joined the team as part of the September call-ups. They’re really yucking it up for the cameras, and why not? These guys represent the future of the Indians. We spoke with CF Michael Brantley about being a key piece of last season’s C.C. Sabathia trade. Keep your eye out for those videos.

10:18 p.m.  – Several Cleveland Browns were scheduled to appear at the party, but after a 34-3 shellacking at the hands of the Baltimore Ravens, would you really be in party mode? But Browns DB Mike Adams was in the house, and he seemed to be in a somewhat pleasant mood. Adams was more than happy to talk with me about his gameday routine. The highlight of the conversation came when I asked about his post-game routine. With nine straight losses dating back to last season, listening to Adams describe his routine after a Browns win was like reflecting on that awesome beach vacation from a year ago. You know, like the “boy I wish I could go back someday” kinda look. Poor Browns.

10:27 p.m. – For as much bad-mouthing there was about the Browns and individual players on the team, you’ll never hear a bad word said about return specialist Josh Cribbs. And tonight was no different. The guy was dressed like a movie star, and the place was abuzz upon Cribbs’ arrival. Unlike Adams, you could tell Cribbs really wasn’t in the mood. He stopped and chatted with an Associated Press reporter, posed with his wife for a few photos, then quietly slipped inside. Gotta give the guy credit for showing up, though.

10:45 p.m. – I reached a major lull in the action, so what better time to do some people watching. There was no way there were this many beautiful women in Cleveland. They must be busing these girls in from the bordering states, and possibly even Canada.

10:55 p.m. – The place was completely blown out. Doesn’t anybody have to work tomorrow morning?

11:15 p.m. – The man of the hour pulled up, and the roof was about to blow off this joint. Everybody knows Shaq is a massive man, but you really have no idea until you get up close next to him. It’s truly remarkable. He entered the red carpet and took a few photos with the lovely Cavalier girls. Compared to some of his more flamboyant suits and outfits, the big man was casual as he wore a black zip-up sweater, dark blue jeans and hi-top court kicks. During his single, brief interview of the night, nobody could make out what he said thanks to his deep voice and tons of screaming fans. This left members of the press disgruntled. What are ya going to do, though? Step in the way of the Diesel? I’m perfectly content standing on the red carpet, I don’t want to be part of the red carpet.

11:43 p.m. – I’ve heard of the fashionably late arrival, but I don’t know what you call the move just executed by Shaq’s new teammates, F Anderson Vareajo and G Mo Williams. Not only did they roll in after the featured guest, but they joined the festivities as some guests started to file out. Not a bad ploy, though, considering half of the media fled the scene once Shaq made his appearance. They rolled deep with full entourages, and both groups did a great job of steering their guys clear of the media. As Williams was whisked toward the door, he responded to a call to talk about his new Nike commercial for the Hyperizers with “It’s Fog Raw, baby!” referring to the character he plays (if you haven’t viewed this commercial yet, it’s a must-see).

Line of the night: “Shaq will be here in 10 minutes.”
–The lovely PR girls running the red carpet, exclaiming about once every 10 minutes between 10:35-11:10 p.m.

Seen and Heard from Inside the Event
“Seven minutes ’til Shaq. We’re going to need more security.”
–A mountain of a man working as the muscle on the red carpet. (Really? Isn’t Shaq himself enough security for Shaq?)

“Do you think Shaq would sign my LeBron jersey?”
–Female fan perched on the patio of the Barley House, after finding out the King wouldn’t be attending the soiree

Shaq’s snacks: Smartwater and Life Saver candies

Meeting of the Champions: Middleweight champion Kelly Pavlik worked his way toward the four-time NBA champ’s private table to thank him and wish him the best of luck for the upcoming season. The big man appeared to be excited at meeting The Ghost.

“Good to have you back!”
–Bar manager to Cavs F Anderson Vareajo upon his arrival. Needless to say, this isn’t the first time the Wild Thing has ventured into the Irish-themed pub.

Now let’s give out some awards …
Best Ride: The non-celebrity who rolled up in a customized black Mercedes Benz AMG with gullwing doors. This is a car that starts at more than $100,000. Heads turned and girls flocked to get pictures of this fine piece of machinery. Even Josh Cribbs was checking it out while he waited for his Range Rover to be picked up by valet.

Best Dressed: Josh Cribbs classed the place up with his sharp, black three-piece suit complete with silver-rimmed black shades. Dude had his swag on.

Nice Guy: Tough guy Kelly Pavlik. “The Ghost” fielded all of my questions with great responses, and came in with a thank you and a handshake. If that didn’t put him at the top for Mr. Congeniality, Kelly went out of his way to say goodbye and offered a parting handshake on his way out. Class act.

Fan Favorite Not Named Shaq: Former Browns QB Bernie Kosar. This Cleveland legend was one of the first to stroll the carpet and got an overwhelming response from fans and media alike. He signed autographs for fans and gave out hugs to members of the media like they were long-lost family.

Courage Award: Props to the brave, unsupervised pre-teen who slipped his way through the ropes of the red carpet in pursuit of an autograph from Shaq. He didn’t get it, but I gotta give the kid credit. He was poised, and my ears are still ringing from his screams. My question: it’s 11:30 p.m. on a school night, shouldn’t somebody be in bed?

Derelict of the Night: The overly-intoxicated fellow who found it to be in his best interest to resist arrest in the middle of the street outside of the event. Not sure how this one started, but the melee gained steam when Cleveland’s finest subdued the rebel and had him assume the position for arrest. He had other ideas, though, and so did the swarm of backup officers who blew up the scene, threw the guy down over the trunk of the cruiser and enforced some justice.

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